Then I was turned into an old fucker vampire with a young studly body.
I used to write down really shitty stories because I was bored.
After years and years I finally snapped and became intelligently insane. I've even gotten a degree in psychology to prove it.
Now everyone wants to kill me, ignoring the fact that I have Lestat's Super! Vampyre! Powers! flowing through my old fucker veins. Ignoring the fact that I'll probably make a nice vampyre meat loaf out of them with fava beans and a nice chianti.