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Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in David Talbot's LiveJournal:

Saturday, February 22nd, 2003
12:30 pm
Lestat, as one of your fledgings...
please, never make another fledging again.

I've been giving your darling Louis therapy. It all started after his, oh, what is it now, millionth suicide attempt. It gets annoying to have to scrub melted flesh from the carpet every few days. Really, a man should take better care of his flat. He locked himself in his coffin, insisting he was dead.

Well, yeah.

He obviously had problems. I didn't take him under my wing until I caught him curled up in his coffin with a frilly little dress and curly blond wig on his head. Out of all the disturbing sights I've seen, I think that's definitely at the top of my list. Actually, it's second to Armand's tea party.

There is no saving his pathetic little soul. I say we should kill him and make a nice gumbo out of him.

On the plus side, I have a dazzling new recipe for sweet n' sour Asians.

Current Mood: annoyed
Monday, December 23rd, 2002
12:21 pm
Robbed, Buried, Torture Armand
Some silly little mortals tried to rob me and bury me alive.

I'd like to say that I killed them and turned them into a nice French cuisine but it didn't happen that way. I'm not sure exactly how they managed to drag me out of my home and throw me into a six foot hole and throw tons of dirt on me without me blinking an eye or even twitching. I slept there for two days before I realized what happened and feasted on little dirt creatures as I dug my way out.

Mortals are never hard to find, so I tracked down these stupid bastards, made a nice Mexican dish and took all my stuff back home.

I was thrilled to finally have something to do.

Then a week passed and I was bored again.

So to entertain myself I started sending children's things to Armand's house. Coloring books, Barbies, GI Joes, LOTR action figures, dress-up kits.... it was all meant to piss him off, but he liked it. So I sent him an exercise bike and a Pilates video with a message attatched saying 'Your ass is fat. Fix it.' and a mountain of dog shit was on my front steps.

That mountain of dog shit is now placed in various shampoo and facial cream bottles, I hope Daniel doesn't get to them.
Friday, October 18th, 2002
1:17 pm
Woe unto you fuckers
Really, gentlemen, simple castration will have no effect on me. I'm in my old man body again, I have no use for balls in this state.

And on the matter of my books..... yes, they did suck. They sucked, but I imagine they could've been worse had I not cut out the bits that were of no interest to anyone. How quickly you forget most of what I wrote was dictacted to me, so the outcome of the books weren't entirely my fault.

I also blame the junkies I had been feeding on those couple of months, years, whatever the hell time frame had passed.

I see you're all still the same whining, sniveling, self-absorbed fuckers as you all were before I disappeared.

Not much changes at all.

Well, a lot has changed for me. I met up with yet another Body Thief fellow and decided that my younger body sucked, I missed the shriveled feeling of my old self and decided to switch up with him without losing my vampyre powers and such. DON'T ASK, IT JUST HAPPENED!! So now I'm an immortal old fart.

AS some of you may have experienced, hunting mortals can be so boring nowadays, I mean really no challenge at all. Just bare some fangs and they think you're some kinky goth and ask for you to bite them. Where's the fear?!

So, I've decided to eat every morsel of the human body. Except for the bones, the bones I usually make jewelry or dolls out of. I've even constructed a bone G.I. Joe for our little Armand, such a cute little boy should have such wonderful toys!

I've decided since scribbling down the lives of you fuckers don't interest anyone anymore I will put together a cookbook. I've already got Arroz Con Cadaver, Creme De La Corpse, Mousse De Los Muertos and various others. I've even been thinking of a special recipe maybe ....Vampyre Stew, or Whichever-Fucker-Tries-To-Kill-Me Pie.

Current Mood: hungry
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